Serendipity

This Blog is I. You are seeing me, not for my face but for whats found within. Serendipity: Finding something good without looking for it.

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cybersity:

i dont understand how people can just get tattoos without even giving it a second thought i cant even find the commitment to stick a sticker somewhere

(via humorking)

"I wrote your name on the bullet so everyone would know you were the last thing that went through my head."

- (via the-psycho-cutie)

(via nihilisticteen)

meladoodle:

15 is the age where you either look 11 or like 25

(Source: meladoodle, via blindandwasted)

drmng:

Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. You’re there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don’t pick up their phone. It seems like you’re giving everyone everything, and they’re just walking away with it.

(Source: shehlovee, via zach-is-lastkingordie)

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

"I know that you have devoted your life to language, but do you truly feel words? Do you catch your breath on stanzas, or choke on alliteration? Have you ever swallowed books whole, consumed their every syllable in one bite? Have words ever filled you with an immense, shaking brave? Have they ever caused you lovesickness, or the feeling that everything is crashing down? Have you ever written anyone a love poem? If so, did you compare them to a quiet bubbling brook, or an undiscovered nebula, dark and far away and dangerous? Do you know what the word Quiescent means? It is a quiet, soft-spoken soul. Does this remind you of yourself, or would you use your words to shout out against indecency and unfairness? Do you know how to pronounce each of the 50 Egyptian words for sand, or do they all come out sounding something like love? Can you see the transcripts written in-between your freckles? Do you understand why a group of ravens are called an unkindness, and why people are compared to oceans and homes? Have you ever felt the same sadness as Plath? Have you felt the strength of Atwood? Here’s a test - what is your first reaction to these names: Siken, Wilde, Sherl, Bronte, Whitman, Yeats, Neruda, Dickens, Cummings? Do you write on a typewriter? Or do you jot things onto scrap corners of paper and coffee shop napkins, cramming words together in your effort to get them down? Have you ever written about your biggest fear? Have you ever written about your greatest joy? Have you ever experienced a moment, knowing full well that words cannot do it justice? Do you feel too deeply? Do words fill your mind, coming out in the form of tears and blood and spilled ink? Do you suffer? Have you ever held words in your fist, and thrown them in someone’s face? I’ll ask again; do you suffer? When suffering, do you keep quiet, or do you turn to loved ones’ to ease your pain? How does it make you feel knowing that we all suffer, every single person? Now, how do you feel knowing that words can ease your suffering? Do you drink coffee, tea, or Diet Coke when writing? What is your prefered style of writing: poetry, prose, flash fiction, essay, or something else? Would you still write if no eyes ever saw your words? How does it make you feel that this is quite a possibility? How does it feel knowing that you are brave, and cowardly, and loving, and unkind? How does it make you feel knowing that writing about these things cannot change them? What is the most stripped-down, bare-hearted sentence you have ever written? Was it a confession of undying love, or burning hate?"

-

A Series of Questions for an English Major // Chelsea Jean 

Inspired by Two-Minute Personality Test by Jonathan Safran Foer

(via naivestars)

"I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I’m like a collection of paradoxes."

- Ferdinand de Saussure (via wordsnquotes)

(via oyaay)

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

(via lubricates)